Opportunity Knocks? “I see this as an opportunity,” he said.
“This is not a problem but a challenge,” she declared.
Pretty typical observations people make when telling me how they feel about their redundancy. Their body language may tell me something different and I, or even worse a potential employer, may find these claims difficult to believe. I would also worry about somebody who only sees opportunities when they are painted into the corner.
How positive do you want to get? No doubt these individuals have taken the view, or been advised, that it is best to take a positive approach to their situation. Recent times have seen a drive towards developing self-esteem and focussing on our strengths, and thereby viewing everything as an opportunity. It is perhaps difficult to disagree with this… but it isn’t working if you feel one thing yet say another.
Neck on the block: I have to admit to discomfort with pumping oneself up to extremes. Constantly telling yourself how wonderful you are is not a sensible way of repairing a damaged ego. Self-regard is a more attractive option. What’s the difference?
Self-esteem can often lead people to telling themselves how great they are while leaving them blind to their weaknesses. We all, of course, have weaknesses.
Self-regard or self worth is a case of valuing ourselves as we are and thus recognizing and being grateful for our strengths while at the same time being aware of, and trying to do something about, our weaknesses.
In an interview you are selling a product – yourself. Blind self-esteem simply does not help – no matter how great that you believe you are, what practical benefit do you offer the employer? Somebody who has a sensible level of self-regard is comfortable in their own skin, can give behavioural evidence of their strengths, comfortably discuss their weaknesses, and can explain how they are addressing their own improvement is more likely to be attractive in an interview situation. Take self-regard/self awareness to your next interview.
An individual I recently worked with on outplacement spent a lot of time talking to family, friends, and former colleagues about how others perceived him. Despite the worry of losing his job, his self-regard increased as people demonstrated a warm appreciation of his abilities… and gave constructive counselling on how he could improve on his weaknesses. When asked how you feel about redundancy is it not best to be honest? If you feel worried or stressed say so… but don’t dwell on it either. Don’t focus on why things have happened but on how you are going to resolve those circumstances for yourself. Take your whole self, warts and all, to the interview… and leave the pumped-up hard-sales pitch at home.
